Scheme Writers, Speak out! Chad Elliot and his new piece TITLED…follow-up to Untitled

My last article “Untitled,” focused on many issues concerning the black community and society as a whole. The purpose was to lay the foundations in solving some of the problems that our communities are presently faced with. I focused on addressing many of the concerns that many have voiced and also provided recommendations to resolving these issues. Although I received some good feedback about my opinions, I also received criticism on my approach as being somewhat offensive. Although part of my intent was to offend so that we can carefully and adequately address these issues, I did not want to come across as a “know-it-all.” And this is why you have to love God’s artistry, from the message I received a couple weeks back at church to my own interaction with my wife and peers I am truly seeing myself. I previously divided these recommendations into four parts: Education, Family, Understanding and Spirituality. However, I realize that they all are directly related. The underlying theme of many of society’s ills pertains to judgmental and self righteous behaviors.

A few years back Bill Cosby received mixed reviews for his remarks about the state of the black community; where he focused much attention on the lower class, men/fathers or lack thereof and our youth. Much of what he said was true, that I won’t dispute. However, the tone of his message was so negative and self-righteous that the message started to fade. Bill neglected to mention his past struggles with adultery, having an illegitimate child (whatever that really means) and multiple sexual harassment cases he had pending. Now of course, this wasn’t the forum to do so, but maybe seeing himself in that light would help him to better guard his words.

As we watch this year’s Presidential Election turn into a circus sideshow, judgment continues to play out as one of the themes. To the analysts/anchors who question or claim that blacks are voting for Obama because he’s black, isn’t that a little naïve to think? How do we know people, black or whatever color, aren’t voting for him because of his policies and principles? And also I ask would it then be fair to assume that older white people are voting for McCain because he’s old and white? Or what about all the women voting for McCain, is it just because his running mate is a female? Speaking of Sarah Palin, and I know I will catch much feedback for this, let’s just assume, true or not, that she definitely isn’t qualified or ready to be vice president. Should the disgust and outrage displayed be placed solely on her? I mean, she didn’t elect herself. Should we view every YOUTUBE clip of one party as truth, but dismiss the other side? The judgment doesn’t stop at just the character of the candidates but also stems down to the policies they represent. From abortion, to gay rights, to the sub-prime mortgage crisis, there are valid arguments on both sides of each of these issues. However, many of us continuously question anyone’s morals and beliefs which aren’t analogous with ours. My attempt is not to use this as a forum to tell you who to vote for, but to make sure we act with discretion when making perceptions of others.

The problems we face today aren’t regulated to just white and black anymore. They cross color lines. We have disconnected between generations as well as genders. Much of this is due to ignorance and lack of communication. But how would people know that these problems exist without trying to resolve them? I wholeheartedly believe it’s due to an arrogance of assumption. Instead of trying to understand one another, we see one or two examples that speak to our perceptions and dismiss any explanations to true understanding. How many generalizations to people blindly throw into day to day conversation? Black men are lazy and terrible fathers, black women are materialistic and have bad attitudes, the youth have no respect for authority or the elderly, the elderly are just bitter and resentful, white people feel the world belongs to them, all politicians are corrupt, the churches are filled with crooked ministers, etc. Now some may argue that some of these perceptions are true, but that is all relative. You may have encountered a particular group on a few occasions, but those experiences still don’t represent that group as a whole. The best way to rid us of this type of thinking would be to look at your own family or even deeper, look at you. How many times have you done wrong but still knew that circumstance didn’t represent you as a whole? Or how about acting a certain way and only you know the reason behind your actions? That mother we see abusing her children is definitely wrong, but what if she comes from a life of abuse and really hasn’t had an opportunity for someone to show her how to love and discipline at the same time?

A good friend of mine said he questioned the authenticity of past friendships because he didn’t know anything that his friends were going through. At the time I thought he was being dramatic, my rebuttal was maybe his friends weren’t going through anything. But I knew deep down that he was right. I mean even when things are great we still are dealing with issues. This conversation led me to reflect on my own friendships and behaviors and I too found that although we may “keep it real,” with our loved ones, that is still with reservation. There are many things that we all wish no one knew about us. Now I’m not suggesting that we run and tell all of our friends and family about our personal business, we still have to act with discretion. Yet, I realize in my lifetime I have missed out on so many opportunities to help others as well as myself through personal struggles and convictions, as a result of me building this wall. My mentality was to just be a voice of reason to people without ever acknowledging my faults. However, this invincibility perception that I was creating discouraged others from opening up with me because they could not see my vulnerabilities.

Before I even continue let me just put it out there: I’ve cheated, lied, stole, smoked weed, drove drunk, fornicated, judged others, watched porn, looked at a friend’s girlfriend’s butt (premarital days), manipulated people/situation, farted and blamed somebody else, snuck into movie theaters, and all other types of reckless, selfish acts. I know some of your minds are already working as you read through my list, which isn’t even exhaustive. But the fact is, although we can all judge one another, only God’s judgment really counts.

Now many of us, who claim to be Christians, love to use the “to he who is without sin cast the first stone” line, but what is really behind that message. We like to focus on God forgiving, but we fail to really focus on the repentance. God can’t forgive us until we are willing to admit what we’ve done wrong. When my pastor speaks I hear him loud and clear, however, sometimes I get distracted by the Amen corner. You know the ones who feel the need to boast and feel the Holy Ghost the holiest. Funny thing is these are the people he is really trying to talk to. As hard as it is to admit these things it is imperative that we do. Use the analogy as God being your parent (which he actually is). If you have done something wrong and your dad/mom knows but doesn’t let you know that they know, how can you expect their forgiveness? It’s these cliff note Christians who continuously point fingers at the young man with his pants hanging down, the girl with her chest hanging out, the guy in the row next to them smelling like Jack Daniels.

Any time you feel that spirit of self-righteousness seeping in; imagine walking around in a world where all of your sins were labeled on your clothes like designer tags. The movie Juno summed this up best for me. There was a scene where Juno, a pregnant teenage girl, was venting to a classmate about her being embarrassed and ashamed at the looks she received from her peers due to her pregnancy. The classmate argued that the young man who got her pregnant could relate to the shame, but Juno replied that he doesn’t have to wear his. That’s deep! And that is exactly the grace God gives us. He doesn’t even ask us to shout to the world all the wrong we did, but we must admit it to him and those that we have wronged.

Being exposed allows us to be hesitant when it comes to our views of others. The violence in America, AIDS epidemic, misogyny of women, illiteracy rate, racism, sexism, classism, economic hardships, etc., will still continue to exist within our society regardless of judging one another. However, with this new found understanding, people will be encouraged and motivated to educate themselves as to the root of the cause of the problems we all face. As painful as it may be to admit your flaws/secrets etc., once you do, you will marvel at how that burden you have been carrying is instantly lifted.

“What makes humility so desirable is the marvelous thing it does to us; it creates in us a capacity for the closest possible intimacy with God” - Monica Baldwin